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haak
04-13-2005, 06:49 PM
HI Everyone-
I posted about a week ago about meeting with our pastor. We ended up meeting with him and had a very good meeting. We talked a lot about the whole spanking thing. Although we didn' t agree on everything it went better than expected. He was shocked by what I told him I had heard goes on. He is planning on even doing some teaching on it. Anyway- all that to say we are actually looking at some other churches. We visitied one we really liked until I saw in the bulleton that GKGW was being taught. I then found the children's ministry director and asked her some questions. I caught her off guard because she said she had never even heard of the controversy. She asked me to email her the website- this is the letter I sent- sorry so long. Do you think I said it right and made the correct points?

Hi Melissa-

I spoke with you this morning in regards to the Growing Kids God's Way class offered at your church. I am sorry if I came off as rude. As you could probably see I can be quite passionate in my beliefs. I am a former educator and a stay at home mom to a toddler and a baby. I have worked with and been friends with several families who have embraced the Growing Kid's God's Way philosophy. My husband and I enjoyed your church but we were concerned when we saw that the class was being offered.

In our experience at another church when that class is offered parents taking it become quite passionate about parenting in a certain way. The title of the class alone suggests that the Ezzo approach is the way God would have a Christian parent. I think that is very sad.

I believe God gives parents the freedom to choose the parenting style that works best for their family. God also doesn't give specific instructions (high chair manners, first time obedience, the interrupt rule, feeding schedules) in the Bible for parenting because each child is so different. I believe He wants us to continually rely on Him, search the Scriptures, pray, and let the Spirit lead. The Ezzo approach does not seem to validate this. They seem to have an answer for everything.

However my greatest concern is Gary Ezzo's personal character and Christian testimony. Did you know he has been asked to leave 3 churches? Did you know he made up much of his research and his credentials? Did you know Pastor McArthur and Dr. Dobson have written statements in concern to his program? Did you know one of his adult daughters is estranged from him? Did you know he has no education in child development?

Anyway I don't mean to be long- winded. I hope you will look at this web site and share it with the pastoral staff. Thank you so much for talking with me this morning. I appreciated your friendliness and openness to researching the information. I would love to hear your feedback.
http://www.ezzo.info/

sadie
04-13-2005, 08:02 PM
Sounds good. :)

I hope she checks out the site, and I hope they discontinue the class. :pray

katiekind
04-14-2005, 06:20 AM
You made terrific points in a letter that was brief, clear and succinct. This is a really, really, really good letter.

I have ONE nitpicky thing I would clarify in future conversation if it comes up--and I hesitate to mention it but I will just forge ahead and do so for the benefit of anyone else who might want to borrow from your letter: Ezzo would dispute the idea that he was asked to leave three churches. He was not exactly asked to leave the second one, which makes it a little harder to characterize Ezzo's run of trouble with churches. I usually say that he left three churches under a cloud and was actually excommunicated by one of them.

The reason for excruciating correctness on these matters is that Ezzo (or teachers/churches following the material) has often squirmed out of accountability by explaining that the critics constantly get the facts wrong about his situation (as if the real facts would exonerate him, which of course is not true!)

So here are the facts: The situation with the first church was documented in CRI's article "More than a Parenting Ministry". It was a small church in New Hampshire, and Ezzo was asked to step down from his position as pastor or teaching elder amid charges of divisiveness. He moved on to Southern California where he became the pastor of family ministries at GCC (Grace Community Church--John MacArthur's church). GCC didn't ask him to leave, the elder board asked him to be more accountable on some issues and instead of submitting to that accountability, Ezzo left and moved on to Living Hope Evangelical Fellowship, pastored by Dave Maddox who had also left GCC and was Ezzo's friend and sometime co-laborer in GFI. A couple of the elders at this church were also on staff at GFI. It should have been an easy environment for Ezzo to get along in. When Ezzo left THAT church (and was excommunicated by that church) MacArthur stepped up to the plate and issued a public statement that the issues LHEF had with Ezzo were the same type of issues that GCC had had with him, and therefore he, MacArthur, believed Ezzo was unfit for public ministry. That statement as well as the excommunication statement from LHEF are both available on ezzo.info.

Hope that helps! Mommyof2, I think your letter is outstanding. I think the point about children's individuality and the non-specificity of scripture is a perfect one to make to the children's ministry director.

:tu I hope she really "hears" you. Well done!

happy2bmama
04-14-2005, 06:43 AM
Mommyof2, I think your letter is outstanding. I think the point about children's individuality and the non-specificity of scripture is a perfect one to make to the children's ministry director.

I agree!!! :tu Great letter - Maybe this letter should become a sticky?

Dizzy Blond
04-14-2005, 01:52 PM
Great letter! :tu I love the last part where you ask all your questions. Can I use them?  :nak

haak
04-14-2005, 02:22 PM
Thanks so much everyone for the encouragement!!! It is so nice to have like-minded people who understand!! Anyone is welcome to use all or part of the letter. I am honored that you would even want to. Katiekind- thank you for the information. That is sooo good to know. I am glad you clarified all of that- in fact if the children's director questions anything I will use that to explain.

I heard back from the children's director. She was very nice and said that they were looking into the program and doing some research. So....we will see what happens. She wasn't defensive at all and said she was quite concerned especially since it regard "God's most precious little ones". So I thought that was a good sign.

Thanks again for the support.

BluegrassMama
04-14-2005, 07:08 PM
She sounds very nice! I wish I could have possessed your clarity of writing when I went thru this :hug :pray

grandmama
04-17-2005, 08:05 PM
That was a great letter....thanks for being such a good example to all of us.....