ugh...whining

[Shawn]

Dd has just started whining on a regular basis. :rolleyes How should I respond?

[prayerbear]

This is probably not workable for all but after a while I whinned to my dd and she laughed with a pout and realised how awful it sounded.... Did not stop her but broke the monotomy for a while and has given me a smile in my heart since.

Hope you get good advise!

[Katherine]

How old is she?

Have you tried teaching her to "try again" in her normal voice? Let her know that Mommy doesn't understand her words when she is whining.

If she is just making the sounds (as opposed to saying things in a whiny voice) you could try "What is that noise? (playfully)"

or "What do those noises mean? I don't know what you're trying to tell me. Can you use words instead?"

Also make sure you're giving her help and a safe place for expressing how she *is* feeling. Sad, lonely, tired, frustrated, hungry, etc.

[Radosny Matka]

I started out by letting ds know what whining meant. Now when he whines I will either say, "that's whining, try again" or "I don't understand whining." He will usually respond in a better tone (unless he is tired - lol).

[ArmsOfLove]

First, remember it's normal :) I actually have come to suspect there must be some developmental issue (like developing nasal tones ;) ) attached to this because it's so universal.

Second, teach what a whine is and what a normal voice is. Talk about how you feel when someone whines, and ask how it sounds to them when you do it (playfully, of course, and not in the moment).

Third, use "try again" or, I love this from Terri, "I don't speak whinese" :lol

Fourth, extend grace when your child is extra tired or overwhelmed and realize it's not meant to bug you ;)

[JJsMom]

I have just started teaching my ds to "Use your words." and that is really helping. When he asks for something and "uses his words" in a normal voice, I say "good job, use your words!!" I have been doing that for maybe a week and now when he whines, he'll usually stop and say it nicely. It's cute, I wish you could hear how he says it, it's like an extra nice dramatic voice! :)

[lmgeenw]

I tell my four year old that I don't understand whinese and that she needs to speak English. I have heard from a lot of parents that this works, although I think I am not consistent enough with it. Whatever you decide to do, it will probably take a few weeks of consistency for the whining to stop.

[godsgracegiven]

Ds whines sometimes when he is sad or not feeling well, so what I do is try to reflect what he is saying, then ask him use his normal voice.
Fourth, extend grace when your child is extra tired or overwhelmed and realize it's not meant to bug you ITA, I think sometimes they whine when they are just not feeling well, for what ever reason. :)

[Shawn]

Thanks for all the advice!
How old is she?

Have you tried teaching her to "try again" in her normal voice? Let her know that Mommy doesn't understand her words when she is whining.

If she is just making the sounds (as opposed to saying things in a whiny voice) you could try "What is that noise? (playfully)"

or "What do those noises mean? I don't know what you're trying to tell me. Can you use words instead?"

Also make sure you're giving her help and a safe place for expressing how she *is* feeling. Sad, lonely, tired, frustrated, hungry, etc.


She's two and a half...So far I've just told her "that's not an acceptable way to speak", in the tone I'd like to hear. (She doesn't do the whiney noises...yet) If she's really into it(whining), she ignores me. As far as giving her help, safe place, etc., I probably could be doing this a little more. We're still adjusting to having a second little one. Dd has handled this remarkably well, considering her age. I guess the jealousy is manifesting itself in whining (and climbing onto the kitchen table--but that's a whole other topic :lol)

So, from here we'll: a) make an effort to make her feel safe/help more b) teach her what whining is c) ask her to try again. If all those fail, I'll extend grace.

"I don't speak whinese"

It took me a minute to get this. When I read the post, my mind said 'whine-ease'. When scanning the message I noticed the spelling... :O Dh will get a kick out of that one. It will probably be his favorite...