When they change their mind

[Mothering by Heart]

This is moslty a problem with my 2.5 yo.
One example is feeding the dog. The 2,5 yo usually helps me feed the dog, I got the bowls and she said 'No feed. Mama do it' I said, Ok, i'll do it today. So the 4yo says, "I want to feed him" Before I can even say thanks, the 2.5 yo starts screaming , "No, me, no me"

I said, "I'm sorry, you said you didn't want to do it so now Avery is" She continued to scream and followed Avery to the back door. Avery asked her if she wnated to help her do it and Natalie turned her nose up and stomped off.

That is just one example. She will want to help, then change her mind, then change it back when someone else steps in. I have just beed saying, like above, "Oh, you said you didn't want to do x. Now it's sister's turn"

Is there any thing else I can be doing, or is that adequate? Oh, and I also verify that she does not want to do something. "Are you sure you don't want to x?"

[ArmsOfLove]

Sounds like 2.5 :)

What I do with my little guy is use this to my advantage. I'll give Liam a wink and ask if he wants to do it and Liam will say yes and act excited and when Aidan demands to do it he'll hand it back to him and wink back at me :)

What they are doing is playing with power. Decide when it's okay and when it's not and when it's not then keep the firm boundary of they lose the opportunity, when it isn't and they must do it then use the 5 Steps and insist they do it, but when you have the time and the inclination it's fine to play along and let them take power over doing it themselves. I know for myself the only way I have peace about the c-section that I needed for the twins was because before they gave me the spinal I talked to myself and reassured myself that I had the power to walk away, that I could say no. Didn't have a plan if I did that :shrug so I agreed to it--but the power was mine to decide. I think having that power to decide is important if we ever want our children to willingly obey. They need to know that they *can* say no before they can willingly say yes :)

[Mothering by Heart]

What I do with my little guy is use this to my advantage. I'll give Liam a wink and ask if he wants to do it and Liam will say yes and act excited and when Aidan demands to do it he'll hand it back to him and wink back at me


Yeah, I've done that before. The older kids don't really care that they didn't get to "help' anyway ;) And they are so great, a lot of the time they will hear how much she wants to do it and give her the chance back :heart

I think having that power to decide is important if we ever want our children to willingly obey True. Also having the ability to change our mind without someone snatching it away and saying, "too late" :think

[godsgracegiven]

What I do with my little guy is use this to my advantage. I'll give Liam a wink and ask if he wants to do it and Liam will say yes and act excited and when Aidan demands to do it he'll hand it back to him and wink back at me.Ahhh! I was just reading this and had to say, I love this example. I was picturing it in my head..very sweet!! :heart