I don't hit

[milkmommy]

We spank our kids we don't hit them.... :rolleyes :banghead :think Why do people say this :shrug?

Deanna

[ArmsOfLove]

UGH--I know what you mean :rolleyes :banghead

I think it's because they believe the motivation behind an action defines the action--same way Ezzo says that the first time a chld does something it's childishness, but as soon as you've corrected it *once* to do it again is foolishness :rolleyes

[4blessings]

I don't get it, either. What's really confusing to me is when a parent spanks a child after the child hits a sibling. "You do not hit your sister!" Whack! What, exactly, is that teaching the child?

I agree with Crystal. Parents who spank their children believe that spankikng and hitting are two different things. In their eyes, hitting is an act of aggression, usually caused by anger. Spanking is a controlled, pre-meditated action used for the purpose of teaching. I bet you to the child it's all the same.

[MarynMunchkins]

Yes, it's supposedly the intent behind the action. :neutral I used to argue that, and know it drives me :crazy

[skylarsmom2000]

LOL, DH and I just had this debate. He wanted to spank DD for hitting a friend ()the friend I posted about on the other board who has been hitting her for a year now!)
He kept saying "If we don't do it she will never know hitting is wrong!" :banghead
So I just let him keep saying it, and waited until he was done and said
"So do we say We use our words not our hands and our hand's are for loving before or after we use our hands for hitting and definitely not loving?"
It finally sunk it and we are again agreed on NO HITTING/SPANKING etc

[ArmsOfLove]

this was the one that finally got my dad many years ago.

[JJsMom]

That's like hitting them with a spoon or another object so you aren't hitting them, the spoon is. :rolleyes :mad

[Katherine]

:doh I've been on both sides of that fence, too. I used to scoff and roll my eyes at the liberals who said that parents who spanked were "hitting" their kids. (although, I always wondered and dreaded how I was going to teach "no hitting" to my own kids... a bit of honesty that was deeply buried beneath my conservative Christian beliefs about discipline)

It's particularly hard for people who came from a "spanking" home where physical discipline was considered an "act of love"; we don't want to re-cast our entire childhood as a series of violent or abusive events perpetrated by parents who love us and whom we love. For a person to choose NOT to spank their kids, and to be honest about what spanking really it, they first have to acknowledge and come to terms with their own past, which is sometimes difficult.

[ArmsOfLove]

For a person to choose NOT to spank their kids, and to be honest about what spanking really it, they first have to acknowledge and come to terms with their own past, which is sometimes difficult. Yes--and in my experience it is harder for men to do this.

[MarynMunchkins]

:think I think this is why my dh is so resistant to GBD right now. His parents are truly wonderful people, but they're in the punitive mindset. :( He can't bring himself to admit that they hurt him.