poleidopy
04-01-2005, 08:09 PM
So, the other day my friend and I were at a consignment store looking at Junie B. books for her son. I found the Sears' "Nighttime Parenting" for a few bucks and showed it to her, saying what a great book it is and that it was by a Christian (a BIG deal for her.) She just laughed and said Oh "J" (her 14mo) sleeps fine in her own crib now. It only took three days. My dh thought I was torturing her, but it worked!" So how did they get their dd to sleep? After watching Nanny 911 :doh, you all know the episode I'm talking about, she decided her dd needed to stop sleeping in her and her dh's bed, but in her own crib in her own room. And they let her CIO. :mad :cry for 3 nights. :bheart So, not knowing what to say, I said nothing. :hissyfit
She is my closest friend here, I spend time w/her every day, but our parenting styles are SO different! Nobody in her house talks- they all scream at each other. She is constantly yelling "I can't stand you guys! " "Stop being a --------(sometimes she just says jerk, sometimes a profanity.)" "Just go to your room, I can't stand to see you right now!" and stuff like that. They usually only spank, but sometimes she has slapped (in the face), kicked, and often she pulls on her dc's ears or hair. She always feels horrible later, but says she doesn't know how to handle them. (Her kids are 7yo ds, 3.5yo dd, 14mo dd. It's mostly the 7yo w/ADHD she can't stand, but when the 3yo screams or the 14mo is fussy, she doesn't know what to do & goes crazy. :banghead
I just don't know what to do. She sees how I act w/her children, marvels that I can get her 3yo to eat most of her dinner when she NEVER can, that her 7yo will listen to me and do his homework (I make it fun instead of telling him he is doing it wrong and calling him ignorant :/) and that her 14mo will curl up in my sling and sit content for hours. She does hold the baby all day, she just has this attitude of frustration that is always present and her kids definitely sense it.
I need some advice ladies. Please don't tell me to stop being her friend. She has many issues that I face too, that I have nobody else to talk to about, and she has helped me a great deal. I was friends with her before I saw how she parented, and I am not about to stop being friends with her. She would never treat my child like she treats hers. She is losing hope and struggling with depression, among other things. She just can't "get a grip." She is on meds and stuff, she just really needs a friend. I don't mind being her friend, I see her changing slightly, but how can I rub off on her more? how can I get her to see that there are gentler ways to do things? Any suggestions on boks I can get her? Thanks for listening.
She is my closest friend here, I spend time w/her every day, but our parenting styles are SO different! Nobody in her house talks- they all scream at each other. She is constantly yelling "I can't stand you guys! " "Stop being a --------(sometimes she just says jerk, sometimes a profanity.)" "Just go to your room, I can't stand to see you right now!" and stuff like that. They usually only spank, but sometimes she has slapped (in the face), kicked, and often she pulls on her dc's ears or hair. She always feels horrible later, but says she doesn't know how to handle them. (Her kids are 7yo ds, 3.5yo dd, 14mo dd. It's mostly the 7yo w/ADHD she can't stand, but when the 3yo screams or the 14mo is fussy, she doesn't know what to do & goes crazy. :banghead
I just don't know what to do. She sees how I act w/her children, marvels that I can get her 3yo to eat most of her dinner when she NEVER can, that her 7yo will listen to me and do his homework (I make it fun instead of telling him he is doing it wrong and calling him ignorant :/) and that her 14mo will curl up in my sling and sit content for hours. She does hold the baby all day, she just has this attitude of frustration that is always present and her kids definitely sense it.
I need some advice ladies. Please don't tell me to stop being her friend. She has many issues that I face too, that I have nobody else to talk to about, and she has helped me a great deal. I was friends with her before I saw how she parented, and I am not about to stop being friends with her. She would never treat my child like she treats hers. She is losing hope and struggling with depression, among other things. She just can't "get a grip." She is on meds and stuff, she just really needs a friend. I don't mind being her friend, I see her changing slightly, but how can I rub off on her more? how can I get her to see that there are gentler ways to do things? Any suggestions on boks I can get her? Thanks for listening.