Helping DD When I'm A Wreck?

[kklibrarian]

Ok, this is going to sound fuzzy and complicated, but I'll try and explain so maybe someone can help me. I have a pretty intense personality....I'm not loud or aggressive, but I feel things deeply, and I'm prone to some dissassociated anxiety (feeling fearful when they're is no tangible reason to be afraid). These problems aren't severe, but I do tend to be more "antsy" around my period. My DD, who is 2 years and 9 months old, can really sense when I'm nervous and she responds by focusing in on me and talking at me constantly. I say "talking at" rather than "talking to" because it's more repetition than communication. For example, this morning, we had the following exchange:

DD: Mama Kelly, Mama Kelly Mama Kelly (so fast I can't actually respond before she repeats several times)

Me: Yes, what?

DD: My baby is sleeping.

Me: That's good.

DD: Mama Kelly. My baby is sleeping. She's sleeping. She's sleeping... Mama Kelly... Mama Kelly..... Mama Kelly..... Listen to me.... She's sleeping..... Mama Kelly.... Mama Kelly.....

Me: I understand. You should help her to sleep.

DD: Mama Kelly..... She's sleeping, sleeping, sleeping. Mama Kelly.......

At this point, I got kind of snappish with her and told her to be quiet because I was jumpy. I feel bad about this, but I was at my wits end. She often gets into these repetitive grooves with her speech, but they are more intense when she can sense that I'm on edge. They wouldn't be so unnerving, except that she seems to expect me to come up with continued new responses to the same phrase repeated eighty times. I know my daughter's not responsible for my moods, and that she is picking up on the nervousness that she feels from me, but I just need some advice on how to get through mornings like these without a melt down and without making her feel bad.

HELP, please!

Kelly

[BeckaBlue]

I would think a form of distraction would work. encourage her to change where she's going. maybe she wants you to be more involoved w/ what's going on

maybe keeping it on about the baby, but going onto when shell eat and such.

seems to be what mine are after when im jsut answering them in a 'oh, thats nice' type way. they're hoping ill get involved, sometimes actimng out that they're babies sleeping too, or talking about things the babies do, kwim?

[ArmsOfLove]

I would suggest reflecting feelings and helping her feel validated with how she is feeling. "You are nervous. You can tell momma feels stressed today." And then listen to her, reflecting when new feelings are shown. This combined with active listening. Just repeat back to her what she has said so that she knows you hear her--let her know you really are tuned in.