Babies need to cry. It's good for their lungs - RANT!!!!!!!

[Radosny Matka]

Ugh! We went "home" for Easter and returned today. It's good to be home. :D It was a fun trip, but my parenting style is completely different from my families. Patrick (he's 9 weeks) and I co-sleep in the recliner together, and I wear him in one of my slings for his naps. Last night my Dad asked me why I don't put Patrick down. I said something along the lines of he wakes/cries when I put him down and that I don't mind - that I enjoy sleeping with him. My mom says something along the lines of "babies need to cry, it's good for their lungs." :rolleyes :sick I said, "lungs need to cry like the heart needs to bleed." (I picked that line up here from another momma - thanks). My mom says, "I'm not saying you need to put him down to cry, but every baby needs to cry a little. It is good for their lungs." :rolleyes I said, "Patrick doesn't cry (he rarely cries, he will fuss a little when hungry, but he's not a crier)." Mom says, "no, but he does fuss, and that is good for him." :rolleyes Then my dad says, "I've never seen anyone hold a baby for 7 weeks." I said, "He's 9 weeks, and I'll hold him for 40 weeks if I have too. People used to hold there babies all the time until strollers, carseats, mainstream-dr.-phil-garbage came around." I was getting really annoyed and my tone of voice was showing it. My mom said goodnight (it was bedtime) and that she was going upstairs (it was her way of ending it, thank you). Ugh ugh ugh!!!!!!! WHAT is so wrong about holding a baby. My sisters baby is 11 months old. She started letting her CIO in her crib between 2-3 months. :cry She is a smilely child, but I did not hear her laugh one single time we were there. Not once. I must have heard from 8 different people "I can't believe how smiley Patrick is and that he is already coo-ing. L wasn't anywhere near this smiley at this age." I thought to myself, "well gee, maybe that is because she was abandond to CRY." How sad is that. My little guy is so happy and has plenty of reasons to smile and coo. Thanks for listening to my vent. Oh - if anyone has an article debunking the lungs need to cry myth, I would appreciate the link. Thanks!

[ArmsOfLove]

:hug how awful :( I know there are good links out there but I don't have them (sorry) Believe me, though, over time there will be bigger differences revealed from parentng differences. Your ds is blessed to have you as a mommy :)

[tree_hugger]

I'm sorry you had such a tough time, Sara. You can be sure in the knowledge you are doing the best thing for your babe. :heart

[Radosny Matka]

Your ds is blessed to have you as a mommy :)


Sniff sniff. (Where is the "tears of joy" emoticon?). I REALLY needed to hear that. :smile I feel like the failure mom of the year (see post in GD).

[GodisGood]

Here's a quote from an AP Dr we used to see "Lungs are an organ, not a muscle". Then he goes on to explain; they don't need a "work out" to perform better.

[MarynMunchkins]

Yes, crying for exercise of the lungs is like eating an entire cheesecake to exercise the stomach. ;) It just doesn't happen.

:hug You're doing a great job!

[milkmommy]

I'm sorry you had such a tough time, Sara. You can be sure in the knowledge you are doing the best thing for your babe. :heart


DITTO :heart

My MIL is my thorn great advice shes given me?
1) babies Need to cry and If Id let her cry more she wouldn't have trouble talking now..
2) just close their door and ingnore her she'll "learn"
3) How do you know she doesn't need mashed potatoes?? If you've never given her any (dd was 3 months)
4) Breastmilk goes sour after 6 weeks (not talking about expressed ;))
5) Its cruel not to give bottles because if you get hit by a car and die baby will starve :banghead
6) She's going to become gay... (breastfeeding "too" long)

GEEE and DH wonders why we don't get along??? (well not really :P ;))

Deanna

[GodisGood]

My MIL is my thorn great advice shes given me?
1) babies Need to cry and If Id let her cry more she wouldn't have trouble talking now..
2) just close their door and ingnore her she'll "learn"
3) How do you know she doesn't need mashed potatoes?? If you've never given her any (dd was 3 months)
4) Breastmilk goes sour after 6 weeks (not talking about expressed ;))
5) Its cruel not to give bottles because if you get hit by a car and die baby will starve :banghead
6) She's going to become gay... (breastfeeding "too" long)

Those are so pathetic they're :lol

[milkmommy]

Its cruel not to give bottles because if you get hit by a car and die baby will starve

Yea this one was always my favorite.. Like how do you respond to this?? :doh What's dumb my DD took her first bottle at 5 weeks and had occassional supplement bottles (with formula) for the first 13 months of her life :shifty so what was her point?????? Was she trying to make me feel better? :think :rolleyes

Deanna

[MarynMunchkins]

If girls turn into lesbians if they ebf, what does it do for boys? :think Will they become gay if you bottle-feed them? ;)

[milkmommy]

If girls turn into lesbians if they ebf, what does it do for boys? :think Will they become gay if you bottle-feed them? ;)


Yes but if you allow them to cosleep it balances them out :P

Deanna

[GodisGood]

Yes but if you allow them to cosleep it balances them out :P

But don't tell you MIL that! :laughtears

[boonpnutsmom]

I have had friends tell me I hold my children too much that I will spoil them. Well if that is the case why is my almost 8 year old still cuddly??? This is because I held him for hours, days, weeks, months, then it turned to years. I even still have the same stroller almost 8 years later, because we hardly ever used it. I didn't know about slings with my oldest but I used it with my DD for her whole first two years and eight months until I found I was pregnant with DS. She is still my cuddly little one too. They remember these things and I don't feel it has negatively impacted them in any ways!!! Keep up the good work mama!!!!

[Heather]

:hugs... are you sure you didn't go visit my family???

Mom was helping me with the twins the other week (yes, I'm grateful for this) and she was changing Lexi while I changed Alex. Lexi started crying and I said "Mom, either talk to her or make funny faces or something, it will calm her down" Mom said - all babies need to cry sometimes - to which I responded - "Not my kids!" She looked at me funny and started the whole " you turned out fine......." routine.

[purstrength]

:hug to you all. My mom mentioned something the other day that gave me the impression that I have it coming. I *think* she'll respect my boundaries though.

[allisonintx]

My first midwife had a lot of children, and she was in the the grocery store with the youngest three.

There was a mom there with a baby in a bucket who started crying. The mom was just still shopping and saying "shhhh, shhh, shhh" to her baby.

The children started chanting "Titty that baby, Titty that baby"

Now, I don't think I would have let my children do that, but it was interesting that the children couldn't stand hearing the baby cry, and knew that the thing the baby needed was a nurse.

[believer]

Yes, crying for exercise of the lungs is like eating an entire cheesecake to exercise the stomach. ;) It just doesn't happen.

:hug You're doing a great job!


:wow But I thought we did need cheesecake to exercise the stomach! I just did that tonight, but not the entire thing - just a small slice - yum! :O

[domesticzookeeper]

Here's a quote from an AP Dr we used to see "Lungs are an organ, not a muscle". Then he goes on to explain; they don't need a "work out" to perform better.


Well, not to be nitpicky, but...

While the lungs are an organ, they don't function like the stomach, liver, etc. Work-outs are good for the lungs (lung capacity, oxygen exchange, etc.) , just like they're good for the heart. Frankly, if I heard someone say that lungs "don't need a 'work out' to perform better", I'd :rolleyes.

;)

[JessicaTX]

I think the point was that crying is not a work-out. It's an expression of emotion.
If it was a workout, my little premenstrual self would be in great shape =)

[domesticzookeeper]

Oh I know, it's just that the general statement "lungs are an organ, not a muscle" is misrepresenting the facts. I definately don't think crying consitutes a "work out" ;)

[Chris3jam]

I've heard that crying to work out the lungs is like slitting your wrists to give your circulatory system a work out. :lol Apparently, the major organs of the body don't get enough of a "work out" when performing their normal daily duties? (insert dripping sarcasm emoticon here) I've gotten so many of those "old wives" things, I could just scream. Also, that the baby will get sore if held too much. Huh? The baby will get SORE? I had one person actually take my sleeping baby from me and put her down. And then she said, "See? Now you can get something done." Um, OK. I thought I was getting something done.

[Oliveshoots]

Here's another one....

Crying is good for a baby's lungs like high blood pressure is good for your veins. :P

Honestly though, the people who have made comments like that to me are the kind of people who are *trying* to put me at ease, when they see me fretting over my baby's cries. (I'm fretting because I don't WANT her to cry.) But my dad always reminds me...."Kristen, they're only saying that because 1) they don't know what else to say or 2) because they think that's a way to sympathize with you." I am blessed that the folks who have made those comments are truly well-meaning. So I have spared them the smart alecked response (like above.) But if someone ever said it for different reasons, I would probably go off on them.

[ArmsOfLove]

I had one person actually take my sleeping baby from me and put her down. And then she said, "See? Now you can get something done." Yeah--I'd have had to hurt that person :eek :rolleyes

I will say that this time around, with 5 little kids and two of them babies, if I had "no crying" as my goal I'd literally go insane :rolleyes Instead I have "as little crying as possible" as my goal and we do okay :)

[kcasmama]

Sounds like my Easter weekend. We were the food police ( see My Little Supporter on bfing board for wonderful outcome) all weekend and heard the same "Crying is good for the lungs" hogwash. To which I responded, "So, when are we gonna color eggs." BTW-- egg coloring wasn't planned for the kids-- I sent dh to get the eggs and fun decorating stuff.

I remember a great Bean Dip tactic in the last board-- might be useful re-posted here.

Another thought, if crying is so good for the lungs, why aren't adults told to do it at the gym? How about a good tantrum class instead of the old aerobics?

[MomTo7]

like eating an entire cheesecake to exercise the stomach. ;) It just doesn't happen.

You mean that doesn't work! :eek Darn!!!

Hugs to you. I have heard it for 13 yrs and I have to say it doesn't bother me a bit anymore. The proof is in the child as they grow. My 13 yr old is better then any I know as well as all my other children. They will see. You just keep up the good work mom! :)

[milkmommy]

like eating an entire cheesecake to exercise the stomach. ;) It just doesn't happen.

Are you sure?? I think I need to conduct some more research on this subject http://pages.prodigy.net/bestsmileys1/emoticons1/eat.gif

Deanna

[ShowersofBlessings]

like eating an entire cheesecake to exercise the stomach. ;) It just doesn't happen.

Are you sure?? I think I need to conduct some more research on this subject http://pages.prodigy.net/bestsmileys1/emoticons1/eat.gif

Deanna


LOL. Do you need any help? I will gladly donate myself to test your theory. :roll :lol :roll :lol

[CelticJourney]

I asked the lungs/cry/exercise question of a friend who is a Newborn Nursery nurse. She said that 'crying at birth is good in that it helps to expand the lungs, if need be, but after that it does nothing but express need.' I didn't tell her why I was asking, but I was in an Ezzo debate and needed professional backup.

Feel free to quote my friend's quote to all those pushy mils as you wish.