napping and crying

[malakoa]

hi -
my little seven month old hates napping even though she's very tired. We go and try and nurse to sleep and she cries and fights it. Then she sleeps for 1/2 hour to an hour.
At night she'll cry because she's tired, then dh puts her in his shirt and she cries until she sleeps.
I posted this before but then the board went down. This feels so terrible - it's like "crying it out" but we never leave her alone. Does anyone have any ideas or help for us?

[ServantofGod]

I don't know if you got any suggestions before the old board went down, but are you perhaps trying to have her nap too late? Mine always fought sleep more when they got overtired. Maybe you could try earlier than you have been.

I think I remember you saying this thing about dh puts her in his shirt. What does that mean? It gives me a strange visual in my head.

[malakoa]

I think I remember you saying this thing about dh puts her in his shirt. What does that mean? It gives me a strange visual in my head.

he tucks her in, so he looks like a kangaroo.

[MidnightCafe]

I have a few questions first. What else have you tried? Have you tried nursing to sleep? Rocking to sleep? Music? Bouncing, dancing, walking? Do you have a sling?

My DD had a hard time settling to sleep at that age. (Later the issue became staying asleep, but that's another story...) If nursing didn't work, I would bounce her to music. It sometimes took an hour & then she'd only sleep half an hour. The biggest factor in getting her to sleep was to get into a sleep routine...sleep at approximately the same time every day. And make sure she wasn't over-tired. The more days in the same routine, the better she slept. As soon as we got out of the routine it would start getting worse. I found that I really had to limit outings for a while or plan them carefully around nap times.

[MidnightCafe]

ooops...I just saw that you have tried nursing to sleep & that doesn't work.

[luvinmykidz]

Like someone else mentioned I would try nursing her down (Slinging, rocking, wrapping her in DH shirt, music whatever) before she starts showing signs of being tired. If you wait till she is crying and upset she is probably overtired and once a baby/toddler gets over tired its very hard for them to fall asleep and they often don't sleep for very long before they wake up again. Give that a try and see!! Hope it helps, it worked for us!! :heart

[malakoa]

Rocking to sleep? Music? Bouncing, dancing, walking? Do you have a sling?

yes - none of that worked - and sorry i didn't reply sooner

a very warm bath with mom and nap in the tub works sometimes now -

but if she's not tired and she thinks were trying to get her to slep - oh boy! revolt!

[Katherine]

Could there be other reasons.. teething? gassiness?

Mine have a period of time where they're starting to get a bit cranky or edgy, but they're not so tired that they'll go to sleep easily... I have to work extra hard during that time to keep them away from each other and somewhat occupied... IME, it's not worth trying to put a kid who's not really tired to bed. An hour later, they're still awake and I'm very frustrated. kwim?

Is she eating right before she goes to sleep? Maybe she needs more time to digest...
Are you putting her down in a very dark room? My ds is light sensitive, and sometimes I can't get him down until I eliminate every single light source, no matter how small. It may actually be more about removing absolutely ALL stimulation. ;)

I think what your dh does is precious.. :heart

How long does she fuss/cry before she settles down? If it's a long time, and it's exhausting both of you, then it's a problem. If she's going to sleep pretty quickly, even though she cries, I don't see a problem. I would keep looking for causes, keep trying other things if you can think of some, keep trying to comfort her in whatever ways she's willing to accept, but there's nothing wrong or unnatural with her protesting sleep. Some kids just do.

This feels so terrible - it's like "crying it out" but we never leave her alone

What you're doing is not CIO. :hug It's hard when they really NEED sleep and just can't settle down... but you're not leaving her alone, making yourself unavailable, or disconnecting in any way.... You are there for her, even when she's upset and crying b/c she doesn't feel like sleeping. :hearts Hopefully this is just a stage.. ? Hang in there!

[harmonyfarms]

Wuzzie, are our children related?

My ds is 19 mo and when he wakes up he just screams! Sometimes I think he is having a bad dream b/c I can see him getting sad while he sleeps. He doesn't want anyone but me. I've thought about night weaning but I just don't see how that will work. DS nurses a lot! During the day and at night. A drink is not a substitute and during the day rarely works.

He also has a speech delay (I am praying this is the ONLY thing that he has wrong) and I think the communication thing gets in the way sometimes.

Of course, 2 months ago I thought he would NEVER stay in the church nursery. Now he blows me kisses and walks in willingly. We didn't do anything, he just grew out of it.

I read Dr. Sears medical problems but none of them seemed 'toddler related'. I really hesitate to bring it up to the doc b/c I don't want to hear the cry it out lecture. KWIM?

[malakoa]

Wuzzie, are our children related?

My ds is 19 mo and when he wakes up he just screams! Sometimes I think he is having a bad dream b/c I can see him getting sad while he sleeps. He doesn't want anyone but me. I've thought about night weaning but I just don't see how that will work. DS nurses a lot! During the day and at night. A drink is not a substitute and during the day rarely works.

I read Dr. Sears medical problems but none of them seemed 'toddler related'. I really hesitate to bring it up to the doc b/c I don't want to hear the cry it out lecture. KWIM?


Your son may be having "night terrors" which are sad for us but normal for them - my cousin went through them until she was eight. If I'd try and wake her she'd not remember what happened.

Prayers for you!

[KoalaMommy]

could she be over tired? DD will nurse down very nicely unless we've kept her up too long, in which case she sounds just like your child. What about trying to get her down an hour earlier? Is she getting good naps during the day? I nurse dd down for naps 2-3 times a day just fine and then for the night. As long as she's getting enough sleep she's easy to get down. Overtired is a nightmare!

Have you read the no-cry sleep solution? If not, run out and get it!

[chelsea]

At night she'll cry because she's tired, then dh puts her in his shirt and she cries until she sleeps.
I thought that was very cute..."Daddy Kangaroo"! :)
CIO is leaving the baby alone to cry, you are comforting her when she cries and not leaving her to CIO. So don't even worry yourself thinking that it is even remotely the same thing!
Your daughter sounds very similar to how my son used to be. He would get mad if the lights went off or anything else indicated that I was trying to put him to sleep. He is now 18 months and still takes a long time to nurse to sleep but he will generally stay in bed until he does fall asleep. Hang in there, "this too shall pass"! ;)

[Oliveshoots]

Have you tried white noise?

DS was alot like that at 7 mos (even earlier) and sometimes I would take him into the bathroom, cradle him, and turn on the faucet (it was a strong flow and made a nice steady whooshing sound) This would calm him down about 90% of the time....calm enough I could dance or sway or bounce and get him to sleep. Sometimes he would go immediately to sleep within a few seconds of turning the water on. At that age, he RARELY slept more than a 30 min to 45 min nap, but the few times he did a good 3 hr or 4 hr nap, there was white noise or "chatter". Christmas eve of that year he slept 3 hrs with white noise on the radio (pretty loud, so he didn't hear dh and I cleaning house for company...dh hated the noise and thought I was nuts, but it worked! but then some spanish speaking station busted through the white noise...wierd....and woke ds up.) The next time was Christmas afternoon at my grandmothers, all the family chatting and talking in the living room wwhile ds slept in the bedroom. He slept 4 hrs straight!!!

Also, putting pillows (firm, not squishy) next to him to make him feel secure helped alot, and extended his naps a bit.

i second the suggestion about seeing if it is teeth or stomach pains. We did not know how bad ds's eczema really was, but now I'm convinced that was *most* of his sleeping problem. Do you know if she has milk allergy (to milk or dairy you are drinking/eating)?

Another thing I tried was letting him sleep in his car seat. When he was crying so much, I would strap him in, and walk around or swing the car seat gently, and he'd be out. Then I'd just put him on the middle of the bed in the car seat, and surround the seat with pillows. Or lay down and sleep beside his car seat. This was better than having to camp out in the recliner.

Oh one more idea....one night he fell asleep ON HIS OWN while I was talking on the phone and laying next to him in bed. He sseemed to like the sound of my voice (I was talking ALOT in a normal tone). So the next night I laid down with him and read a few chapters out loud from one of my novels, and he fell right to sleep. Maybe talking or singing would help her?

HTH.

[Soliloquy]

I agree w/ the PP to make sure that you're start your "nigh nigh" routine at the first sign of fatigue--a spaced-out look, rubbing eyes, whiny, etc. Our bedtime became much smoother when I realized that my DD was tired and ready for bed around 7:30 or 8, not 9 or 10.

When she's fighting her sleep and I can tell she's tired, here's what I do: I lie on the bed on my back. I lay her across my chest and she latches on. I hold her tightly with both my arms and I rock my body back and forth--pretty vigorously--and sing a soothing song. The rocking motion really lulls her to sleep. Other times I'll rub her back--really rub it, not just stroke it, while I sing. Sometimes I combine the rubbing and the rocking.

For what it's worth, it's not "crying it out" if you're there with your child. She's not alone or abandoned. Hopefully you can find something that's soothing to her--if nothing works, at least you know that she'll grow out of this phase eventually. :hug

HTH!