First Time Mother.

[JessicaPatterson]

Hi I would just like to know if anyone has any good advice about being a first time mum.
Next month, April i will be giving birth to my first child and just need some advice, about how to know when he is hungry, wet or just wants a cuddle.
I have been coming to this website for a while now, but just got to be a member yesterday, and would really love to chat to some mothers that have been through or that are going through what I will be going through very soon.
So if you would be able to help, any advice will be great and much aprieciated.
Thankyou :smile

:heart Jessica.

[lenswyf]

LOL! Believe me, your baby will let you know.

Wet -- take a whiff or a feel.

Cuddle -- well, they just always want a cuddle. After 9 months of being snug and secure in your womb and feeling your movement all the time, they don't like to lie still. Do you own a sling (https://www.naturalfamilyboutique.com/shop/Slings.aspx?maryc) yet? Very valuable item -- every mother should have one and get their babies started in them right away!

Hunger -- babies have lots of cues, and you will learn to recognize them before baby cries. Increased movement, rooting (moving head toward your chest with mouth open), chewing/sucking on their hands, licking lips and making sucking sounds... these are just a few.

[LadyBird]

Ohhh congratulations! This is going to be such a wonderful, exciting time for you! (and maybe even depressing! don't forget to watch out for that!)
I am a first time mom with Elizabeth, and it has absolutely been the joy of my life. She is now 14 months old and this past year has been so full of joy! When we first brought her home, we just took it all one step at a time. We monitored her pooping and peeing, and cleaned her umbilical cord with alcohol and a q-tip. She latched on in the delievery room and was a really good sucker, so I didn't have to worry too much about nursing, even though I did before she was born. Used to have dreams that she wouldn't nurse. But that hasn't been a problem. She is very attached! Thank God!

It kind of came naturally with the crying part. When she cried, it just realllly pulled at my heartstrings. Still does! I guess I just learned her cries automatically. I checked her diaper all the time; used diaper cream as a precaution, bathed her just about everyday -- used Bath and Body Works "Yucca Aloe" clarifying shampoo on her and it kept the cradle cap away; held her all the time, nursed her whenever she wanted, and basically spent most of my time just adoring her.

anyway, I have relaxed a bit over the months as a parent, and I let her explore her world, but I still have a hard time leaving her with anyone besides my DH. She still nurses, and co-sleeps. I love having her int he bed with us. My little snuggle bunny. We also want to have more children, whenever the good Lord will bless us with one!

I am sorry if this has been rambling, but I hope you know that you aren't alone being a first time mom, and there will be so many new feelings along the way that will seem foreign to you. Just relax, and know that every new mama goes through it to some degree or another. The best part about my own self was getting back to feeling like I knew my body again.

So! Good to meet you and can't wait till your little bundle is here in April!
God bless :heart :hug

[eoconnel]

Congratulations! This biggest pieces of advice that I was given before Emma was born were:

1. Sleep when the baby sleeps. I know this can be hard since you can think of million things you need to be doing instead-don't go to sleep
2. Don't feel bad for asking for help. You are not wonder woman, you are new mom.
3. The best piece of advice-CUDDLE CUDDLE CUDDLE.

Enjoy the last part of your pregnancy.

[mamame]

Hmmm - my advice is to:

If you're nursing, have the number of a good lactation consultant available and get help as soon as you can. They can catch things early and help you through a tough time. I might have given up with my 2nd DD if not for my LC.

Don't worry about the house. You'll have time to clean it up later. Snuggle with your little one and give yourself time to recover. Use paper plates and other disposables in the beginning to give yourself time.

Take the baby into the bathroom when you shower. You'll feel better seeing them and many times they'll fall asleep with the sound of the water.

Accept as much help as is offered. If people bring you meals, just thank them. You need that help in the beginning.

Know that babies cry. If you've done all you can, it's OK to just hold a crying baby. I remember thinking that I needed to get the baby to stop crying but a few of them had times of just needing to cry a bit or something. A sling does help with this so that you can get a few things done. Remember that you can't spoil a baby!! They're made for holding!

That's all I can think of now. I have plumbers running in and out of the house replacing the hot water heater. I can't wait for MY hot shower! LOL!!

[sadie]

Congratulations! :heart

I didn't read the other replies, so I will probably repeat some things.

As far as when to know what to do what, honestly, in the beginning, i tried everything. ;) I was always cuddling her, or if I wasn't, and she cried, I would pick her up right away and snuggle. Then I immediately offered nursing, and if she didn't want that, I tried changing the diaper, and if that didn't work, i tried swaddling and if that didn't work I just held her and rocked her.

After a while, I didn't have to play the guessing game anymore b/c I learned her cues and realized that she was letting me know what she needed. There are signals babies give when they are hungry or wet or need cuddling. I just needed the practice to figure it out.

So the best advice I can give you is, start practicing immediately. Don't listen to anyone who says, "oh he/she's fine, just leave her." If your little one is crying, start trying to figure out what it is, b/c it's great practice in learning her cues. At the very least, you can hold her and comfort her as she cries, which is a million times better than just letting her cry alone by herself. :(

Good luck...you are going to do great, and we are all here for you! :heart

[2ds1dd]

CONGRATS!

1 : If you are going to BF get hooked up with your local La Leche League now {you can find them by going to www.lalecheleague.org }

2 : Remember - You can NEVER spoil a child {or baby} by holding them too much or paying them too much attention.

(((hugs)))

[Sandy]

:congrats

Becoming a mom for the first (second, third, fourth...) time is such a wonderful, awe-inspiring experience. There is nothing quite like holding your child for the very first time.

You've gotten very good advice. Don't worry about when or how right now. You and your baby will learn together. Just know, that as others have said, your baby needs you. You to hold her...cuddle her....love her....comfort her...feed her. Listen to your heart and most of what you need can be found.

But if you still have a questions, this is the best place on the net to get answers. :)

[Benjaminswife]

Congrats on your baby :) I guess if I could give 3 pieces of advise they would be this-

1) Don't worry about what others say or think. You will hear so much advice from everyone, just trust yourself and what is right for your baby
2) Don't give up on bfing. It is hard, it will probably be sore but you can do it and you will get through the hard first few weeks.
3) It is ok to mourn your past non-child life. Take the time to do that.

[ServantofGod]

Hi, Jessica!
:congrats

My firstborn is an April baby! Nice time of year to have a baby, though I never saw the light of day because dd was colicky! :hissyfit

What type of person you are will affect how easily you adjust to motherhood. I'm going to take a wild guess and assume you're more on the Type A side. Maybe you aren't, but that you're gathering information now gives you away. Unless you're just bored.

I'm a type a and I find newborn life hard. All that good advice about not worrying about the housework falls deaf on my ears. One thing I wish I had done differently with my first is this: I wish I hadn't been so afraid to make a mistake! I was possessive of the baby and hyperdefensive over advice. Yes, I got lots of advice and it was annoying and intrusive, but I wish I had realized that the advice-givers were all people who cared about me, even if the advice was misguided. After all, just because someone suggests you give your 2-month-old cereal so they'll sleep through the night doesn't mean you have to take it...you don't have to over-dramatize your refusal either. :wow Learn early to say something like, "I'll have to look in to that." or "Do you really think so?" or "I'll ask my pediatrician about that."

If you are going to breastfeed, I recommend securing a lactation consultant now. If you plan to use EBM at all, rent a hospital pump. I'm so sorry I never rented a pump before; it's the greatest!

If you would never dream of using cloth diapers, dream of it! :lol They are wonderful!

[Benjaminswife]

I also wanted to add that an LC is a must :)

[Mother Duck]

:congrats

Top there tips from are:

1) Listen to your heart

2) I second the suggestion for a sling

3) Rest and enoy your baby!

Looking forward to hearing how the birth goes :hearts

[mommyof3dds]

Everyone always say that it flies by and that is so true. The first thing I would say is really take time to appreciate every moment you can. They are not babies for long. Each stage has such wonderful things to enjoy so do that. I second the BF advice. It may seem hard in the beginning, but hang in there. If you have support from people who have breast fed it will help alot. It is such a wonderful bonding experience. Trust your instinct, because it is almost always right. :congratsYou are about to experience the biggest blessing of your life. I'm so happy for you. This is a great site to come for advice so use it when you have questions. :heart

God Bless,

[Maggie]

Congratulations, Jessica!!! :heart How exciting, but also a bit anxiety-provoking, right? You'll do just fine! Most of the learning just comes by doing and getting to know your baby. You guys will just kind of develop your own communication system and intuition as you bond and spend time together. :D In the first few months, most babies don't want to be put down very much. A sling would help with that, as you can have the baby snuggled against you while you get a few things done, but try not to expect to get too much done in the early days, as someone else said. And definitely sleep when your baby sleeps! Some stages will seem more diufficult than others, but your baby will change and it will usually get easier, or at least the challenges will vary. ;) But, you will just be amazed at how much love you can feel for another person, especially when you have the baby in your arms. :hearts

Definitely ask for help when you need it and just try to relax and enjoy each other! Congrats again!!!!! :D

[Mama Calidad]

Based on my mistake with DD, here is what I recommend. Read tons of threads in the breastfeeding forum. Read as much as you can handle on www.kellymom.com and a good breastfeeding book or two. Then, make an appointment with a LC (IBCLC preferred) before your baby is due. Go in and ask her some questions that you already know the answers to from your reading. Just to get a feel for her. When you're there, I'd also recommend asking her to check that your nipples aren't flat or inverted.

[MySeoulChild]

I recommend The Baby Book by Dr. Sears.

I wish someone had gotten it for me when I was a first-timer and soooo impressionable :(

[kcasmama]

Congratulations!!! My first was born just 4 mos ago, so I know just how you feel. The best thing I can offer is TRUST YOURSELF. You obviously love the little one, so you really can't go wrong. Also, those first weeks of fussiness when you are learning your own baby's language are fleeting. You'll be in the groove before you know it. I remember thinking that I would never know the difference between the hungry cry/ tired cry, etc.. Now we rarely get to crying because I can read her body language. You'll get there too-- in no time! :hug

[~yogamom~]

I am expecting a baby in May and this thread has been soooo helpful! :hearts

[UltraMother]

You only realize how fast it was when it's over. While you're going through it, it seems very long and hard, mostly because it's all new. But that is what's good about it too- everything is novel and exciting! Trusting yourself can be tricky- sometimes we tell ourselves the wrong things. Be gentle with yourself when you make mistakes. You are only a frail human, and mistakes will happen. Trust in God to teach you what you need to learn. Having a baby brings forth a lot of old issues from the past. New motherhood is a time of enormous growth as a person. You will be stretched as never before., and you will be amazed to find out how strong you are!