Wholly Mama
03-21-2005, 09:28 PM
I still need help with what it looks like to set and enforce boundaries without being punitive. I guess what does "making it happen" look like? Is it all just about my attitude? Because right now my attitude stinks and I need a lot of help with that!!
Also, I'm still having troubles with now two boys hurting their baby sister. "You hit (bite, hurt, etc), you sit" has become meaningless to them. I'm trying to give them more sensory things to do during the day.
My biggest problem right now is with destruction. I understand little boys need to climb and jump and act crazy, but I want to enforce boundaries on when and with what they can do this. I turn around for a minute and they've pulled their entire room apart, or knocked my lamps over, or broken the bookcase, or...
I've related my difficulties to my mom, and she (who is punitive) just says, "You need to make them obey. Give them a swat and make them stay in their rooms. Each time they do something wrong, you send them to their rooms." I don't really take her discipline advice - though she often has some pretty good ideas for other things, but we're going to be staying at her house for two weeks starting this Thursday. I'd like to get a little control over things and be able to effectively set boundaries in a healthy way by the time/while we are there. (okay, I'm asking for a miracle, I know!!)
Also, I'm still having troubles with now two boys hurting their baby sister. "You hit (bite, hurt, etc), you sit" has become meaningless to them. I'm trying to give them more sensory things to do during the day.
My biggest problem right now is with destruction. I understand little boys need to climb and jump and act crazy, but I want to enforce boundaries on when and with what they can do this. I turn around for a minute and they've pulled their entire room apart, or knocked my lamps over, or broken the bookcase, or...
I've related my difficulties to my mom, and she (who is punitive) just says, "You need to make them obey. Give them a swat and make them stay in their rooms. Each time they do something wrong, you send them to their rooms." I don't really take her discipline advice - though she often has some pretty good ideas for other things, but we're going to be staying at her house for two weeks starting this Thursday. I'd like to get a little control over things and be able to effectively set boundaries in a healthy way by the time/while we are there. (okay, I'm asking for a miracle, I know!!)