How much should I help?

[schoolofmom]

Bishop has a bad habit of dumping out all his toys and then just playing with one or two. When clean-up time arrives, he starts to pick up, then I guess gets overwhelmed by the mess and starts yelling, "I want help!" I've tried telling him that if he doesn't like picking them all up, he shouldn't dump them all out, but that hasn't sunk in yet. And he takes literally hours to pick up all the toys. If he picked them up normally it'd take about ten minutes but he just won't. So, how do I really help?

[ArmsOfLove]

I would say (and I really need to do this myself) is put up more of his toys. Give him the ability to play without so much mess. I think "dumping out" is just what some kids do ;) Then, I'd spend some time getting him motivated. Sing songs, think Mary Poppins and a spoonful of sugar ;)

[Radosny Matka]

My son is a "scatterer" too. I really think it's just part of the age. Kids *need* to see what they have. I did recently put some toys up, and he even helped! :wow I think he was glad in a way to clean some things out. It's not quite as overwhelming, he can see what he has now, and he is playing with things he hasn't touched in a while. Also, we have started cleaning up 3x a day, or when it starts getting overwhelming. I'm also picking up a toy or 2 here or there. It really helps to keep the mess down, and he is much more willing to help.

[schoolofmom]

Thanks, ladies! :) I had been thinking along those lines but I just need to get off my tushie and do it. :P

[Cindy]

My daughter does well with step-by-step instructions. "Pick up your toys" can be too overwhelming, but if I ask her to pick up the books, she can handle that. Then I might ask her to pick up her blocks, and she can do that too. Then I might ask her to pick up her puzzle...

[Marsha]

If I have time, I do the step by step. First pick up all the red things, then blue or whatever. MOstly though I'm in a hurry and it is my desire to have the floor clean, not necessarily a "rule" or a health hazard or anything else, so I enlist her help. As long as she picks up one or two items, I do the rest in about 5 minutes. Kids get so overwhelmed and sidetracked by items. Dd doesn't realize she is being "slow" and I dont' think she always realizes that she has stopped picking up toys and is now playing with one of them.........I only have one child and i"m the neat freak, not her and not dh, so I do the bulk of picking them up.

[TulipMama]

My daughter does well with step-by-step instructions. "Pick up your toys" can be too overwhelming

I still remember feeling overwhelmed when I was told to clean my room when I was four/five. I have one day clearly in mind--and the job just felt too big and I didn't know where to start.

It's helped me remember I need (both for myself and for the kids!) that I need to give instructions of where to start. Jobs are much smaller once we get going. . .

It's also helped me to decide to accept that my children can clean up sloooooooowllllly. Sure, I want to help them learn to do it quickly (less painful for them and me! *L*) but if their pace is slow, that's okay, too. I believe this is especially important with some personalities. . .

[ArmsOfLove]

this is why I needed, as an adult and mother of 2, Flylady--she broke things down into step by step and manageable amounts. I was overwhelmed by "clean the house" but could handle setting the timer for 5 or 15 minutes to do a specific task :)