Turning my anger outward...Abuse in the Church

[Mamatoto]

You're going to see a book on this someday!!!! I'm really angry at what happened to my dd and after reading the thread where some of you had similar circumstances it's time we wrote about them! The lie needs to be exposed. PM me if you are willing to share your story for a book/article on this topic-not to condemn the church but to condemn the lies.

[Heather]

(((HUGS))) I am so sorry for what you and others have experienced.

However it is not isolated to churches - therefore I think pointing only at the church in a situation like this would only get you bad responses. Perhaps instead of saying "abuse in the church" you could say - Child abuse in a "safe" environment - or maybe even something like - Abuse from Care Givers.

This way, it wouldn't be pointing ONLY at the church... However, if the individual story happened at a church then you could mention it in that story. It is very sad that child abuse happens at all.... and even a harder blow when it happens at church... But it doesn't happen at all churches so it wouldn't seem fair to phrase it that way... KWIM?

But... maybe I'm just rambling... Hope I didn't phrase this wrong... :(

[Sara]

But the thing is...
Most people are outraged when they find out that abuses have happened in a "safe" setting. You know the only place I know of where people *aren't* outraged? Church! Why? Because it is so accepted/condoned/encouraged.

Before I became a Christian, I hardly knew anyone who spanked. I was not spanked growing up and only a few of my friends were. In my college classes, it was just accepted that spanking was not okay and could be detrimental to children. But then I became a Christian and I learned about this whole culture of corporal punishment and it makes me MAD! :mad I've sat in bible studies, sunday school classes, and Christian groups for mom and felt like I'm in the Twilight Zone as I listen to parents talk and laugh about spanking their chidren (how hard, how many times, whether or not to do it on bare skin :eek) and NOBODY CARES! Everyone thinks this is normal and fine and BIBLICAL!

So I see where it would be prudent to be cautious about pointing the finger at churches, but on the other hand, it is truly a problem that needs to be addressed! My dd witnessed another child being spanked (without the mother's permission) in a mom's group setting at our church and I was angry that she had to witness that. But nobody else though there was anything wrong with it!

[Heather]

VERY good point Sara! It does need more awareness... but - it is such a delicate subject, if you come off too strong people would be too busy flaming you to even hear what you have to say.

Awareness is the key I think... maybe we need a ribbon to show the cause or perhaps a tshirt that spells it out - like "CHRISTIAN PARENTING = GENTLE PARENTING". Or maybe something like - "DO YOU THINK MARY SPANKED JESUS???"

I dunno...

[jujubnme]

I think talking about abuse in the church is appropriate... To me it is like confronting abuse in your own family. Sure the church is not the only place where abuse occurs, but it is a place where as fellow believers we have a stake (and responsibility) in exposing sin and working toward healing and reconciliation. (((Snugglemama))) I'm so sorry for what happened to your dd.

[Sara]

I agree, Heather, and it is good to be careful when throwing around terms like abuse because people who spank their children are going to get very defensive (even if they wouldn't want someone else to spank their child). I don't know the answer, either - I was just venting my frustration about the situation as a whole.

[ArmsOfLove]

I think this is a case of judging from within because we're already strongly judged from without. I have athiest and pagan friends who have told me I'm the first Chrsitian they've ever been willing to even listen to share my views on religion or other spiritual matters and it's because I'm so outspoeken about being GBD in my discipline approach. I've met so many women who have rejected God and the Church because of how they were parented :( When the way some people parent is actively turning people AWAY from God! :mad and those people are the ones who would say that they are doing it to guarantee their child's salvation :hissyfit

Now, the medium I would choose for an article like this is a Christian website or magazine. That way it doesn't look like badmouthing to the world, and I would be careful to maybe not take on the spanking issue--but the rights of parents to not have their child spanked while in the care of church nursery workers.