MOPS situation updated

[Mamatoto]

:banghead

The church has decided to do nothing about dd and the other child being spanked. The couple denied what we said and then resigned from childcare for the year. There will be nothing public. There was no apology.

I don't know where to go from here...I don't have money to hire a lawyer!!! :hissyfit

[MarynMunchkins]

I bet you could get the ACLU to take up that case pretty quickly. :mad :mad I'm so, SO sorry they're ignoring it! :hug

[ArmsOfLove]

((((((((((((((((((((( :hug)))))))))))))))))))))))) I'm so sorry! What about to the press? I'd be tempted to don my picket sign and picket the next MOPS meeting :walk :usa (that's me walking and waving--but imagine a sign instead of a flag)

It sounds like a plea bargain really--they step down without anything going public. And, as with many plea arrangements, sadly, the victim doesn't get justice :(

It might be time to forgive and show charity. :heart

[BlessingsX4]

I am so sorry!

I would call around and find out what else can be done. I am so sad to hear that they are going to let them get away with this. :hug

[Danette]

I am so sorry. :hissyfit I'm not sure what else there is to do. :rolleyes

(((hugs)))

[TestifyToLove]

You know, MOPS is its own national organization, outside from the churches who sponsor it. Someone spanking a child in MOPPETS (which is blatantly illegal) is very bad PR for the organization. Perhaps you should try contacting the national leadership of MOPS next and see if you cannot seek resolution through that format. The thing is that while the local churches sponsor chapters of MOPS, its not technically under the church, its under the national organization. And, they can't afford for MOPPETS staff to be spanking children. You might even mention to them that they cannot afford for you to go to the media on this issue. And, frankly, I wouldn't be afraid of actually going to the media for resolution and a public apology for yourself and your child.

[Heather]

(((HUGS)))) I'm so sorry you are having to go through this...

[Mamatoto]

What sort of media would I go to? I would think that there would have to be an investigation or lawsuit to get media attention. I think I will try to contact the upstairs of MOPS.

[Mamatoto]

Does anyone have access to the MOPS website/forums where they can warn other moms?

[lenswyf]

In terms of going to court, I think your evidence is weak, in that it's relying on the testimony of young children. Since they resigned, which is good, I would be satisfied if all parties agreed that this couple would never be allowed to oversee children in MOPS or the church again.

[sadie]

I agree with TTL. Informing MOPS leadership that you are going to the media is attention they don't want. I would definitely let them know i was planning on going to the media if they didn't publicly denounce what happened.

Also, I would circulate a letter to the parents of all the other children in the program detailing what happened and warning them of the danger to their children.

[Mamatoto]

I called MOPS International and they said all childcare is under the church and not liable to MOPS.

[MamaKanga]

The thing is that while the local churches sponsor chapters of MOPS, its not technically under the church, its under the national organization.


Actually, it's a little different. The chartering ministry *is* responsible for its MOPS group in every way--financially, legally, spiritually, etc. The CM pays MI to use its name, logo, training materials, and for support. But MOPS is under the authority and responsibility of the Chartering Ministry.

That said, I would still contact MI, the Board of Elders at the church, and I would file a complaint with the police department.

[Sandy]

I think the thing I would push is for the man never to be allowed in childcare again. Perhaps you could take that idea to the church...that you are willing to let it drop if you are assured that this person is never allowed to care for children in their church again under any circumstances. If they are willing to give you that much, I'd let it lie.

[poetic mama]

((((((Snugglemama and family)))))) I don' have any advice on what action to take next, but I want you to know that I am praying for dd that the Lord will heal her heart...my heart hurts for you all.

[Allison]

That just doesn't seem right. I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this!

[phermion]

*being very VERY cautious here* I'm not all that familiar w/ MOPS...but I was wondering if the offending party is Christian, and if so, might a biblical resolution be called for? (as in going to the offending party personally, etc.) Again..I'm not trying to raise hackles or start anything....I was just thinking that the body of Christ (us, our churches, etc.) has enough problems without bringing the "world" in to "solve" another one.Just trying to think of a way for the resolution to bring glory to God, to bring something good out of something so bad. :hug Please don't hear that I am discounting the offense!!! It is a very real one! :cry

Just ignore me if you want.I may have missed some important points. ;)

[iplsmama]

Christy, I', going to go out on a very cautious limb with you and agree with you ( I hope the limb doesn't break).

[MidnightCafe]

I just caught up on the whole situation. I appears that snugglemama did contact the individual & the church already & they've decided to do nothing...other than that the couple is stepping down from child care right now.

I'm not sure at all what I would do, but I would be outraged for sure. (((hugs))) I wish I had good advice.

[Krystyne]

I think that that its outrageous the fact the couple resigned was ok. I also think it really sucks that a child's tesimony is not valid. I would file a complaint with the police department against the church and the people. It needs to be on record that things like this happen.

[OneSillyMommy]

i would go to the people as well , and ask them for an apology- with dh of course. However i don't think i would feel welcome at a church that isn't taking things seriously. I would call the police and ask them ?'s regarding filing a report about it- so at least maybe it would be on there records if they volunteered again as many churches are doing background checks for staff. I would also only leave my children in the care of people who have had background checks as well as who i and my child feel comfortable with. The bathroom cenario in the earlier post was very frightening to me. What if he did more than spank her? A man should never take a girl to the restroom alone in a church setting- or daycare setting- ever!

[expatmom]

What a disheartening situation. I think it is a positive step that the couple has resigned. For me to feel the resolution was complete, I think it would be important that the church took a public stance on what happened. I would want them to make a statement on a Sunday or in their bulletin so that others would know what happened & how it had been rectified. Transparency is important to me.

Is this your home church, or one that you only attend the MOPS program at?

[Tamara]

I'm so sorry you didn't get the resolution you deserve. I hope you find a peacefulness about this whole thing. ((((snugglemama))))

[GodisGood]

You know, MOPS is its own national organization, outside from the churches who sponsor it. Someone spanking a child in MOPPETS (which is blatantly illegal) is very bad PR for the organization. Perhaps you should try contacting the national leadership of MOPS next and see if you cannot seek resolution through that format. The thing is that while the local churches sponsor chapters of MOPS, its not technically under the church, its under the national organization. And, they can't afford for MOPPETS staff to be spanking children. You might even mention to them that they cannot afford for you to go to the media on this issue. And, frankly, I wouldn't be afraid of actually going to the media for resolution and a public apology for yourself and your child.


I cannot agree with this more! Please contact the leaders of MOPS. I don't think it 's fair for them to be sideswiped by this. I have been very blessed with the MOPS group I was in in MN.

[phermion]

I just caught up on the whole situation. I appears that snugglemama did contact the individual & the church already .......


See....I missed that. :shifty :blush It always makes me sad when things don't work the way they should within the "family". *sigh* I'll be praying for a "glorifying" resolution none-the-less...you never know when someone's heart might change and might apologize to you and offer some way to make amends. Hopeful. :candle Of course there's always the "heaping coals" option. ;)

[ChristmasGirl]

well, i don't know if this would be the media attention you'd want, but our channel 11 news has a "call for action" every night on the evening news, where people that aren't getting situations resolved are highlighted, and the news-station kinda steps in on their behalf. also creates community awareness. But not sure if that's really the right venue for this.

just another FYI, usually it is a good idea for churches to have 2 unrelated people working together so that one is not covering for the other. Maybe you could push for some church policies to be changed.

Kind of as a sidenote, I am a teacher/supervisor on a church's nursery staff, and do childcare for MOPS. I am officially "hired" by the church, not MOPS. however, i think that our nursery director works closely with mops leaders. (we have 50ish paid nursery staff) i wouldn't mind running this situation past my nursery director next week after she's back from vacation to see what her understanding is about accountability etc. if you'd like that you can just pm me.

I hope you are doing okay over all of this. you've got to be emotinally wiped out :hug

[TulipMama]

The couple denied what we said and then resigned from childcare for the year.

So, they are saying that nothing wrong happened, but acting as if something wrong DID happen?

Personally, I don't know whether I would pursue things (because of hating confrontation.) But in my dream world, I would go to the elders/pastor again with the desire that the offender would confess what he did, apologize for how inappropriate it was, and agree to either not work with children in the future or pursue some child dev't education before working with children. I think these are very reasonable, and can be handled with love and kindness in the church family.

And I would request the church review and revise their childcare policies.

[BluegrassMama]

deleted

:pray for your family!

[Vipers_Princess]

You know, MOPS is its own national organization, outside from the churches who sponsor it. Someone spanking a child in MOPPETS (which is blatantly illegal) is very bad PR for the organization. Perhaps you should try contacting the national leadership of MOPS next and see if you cannot seek resolution through that format. The thing is that while the local churches sponsor chapters of MOPS, its not technically under the church, its under the national organization. And, they can't afford for MOPPETS staff to be spanking children. You might even mention to them that they cannot afford for you to go to the media on this issue. And, frankly, I wouldn't be afraid of actually going to the media for resolution and a public apology for yourself and your child.


I second this one. I wouldn't be the least bit ashamed/afraid to go to the local paper, write a letter to the editor, talk to their religion writer/human intrest writer, etc. Even TV media. Here we have a call *6* for help reporter who investigates and does live reporting on all sorts of things, he's even done one about a spanking at a public school where the parents had filed a NO Corporal Punishment form when the kid was enrolled.....