All night nursing. *VENT*

[BHope]

(cross posted with Breastfeeding forum)
DD co-sleeps with us, and for the most part it's been exactly what we need. I don't have a lot of friends IRL who co-sleep or even condone co-sleeping, so for me to vent to them would just be adding fuel to their fire.

Anyway, we just found out that we are expecting #2 and my boobs feel like they are on fire. Nursing during the day hasn't been as big of an issue but at night DD is a sloppy nurser. Often staying latched even well past her nutritional needs. When she's sleeping her latch is not always terrific. Perfering instead to nurse on the END of my nipple rather than nursing properly. What ends up happening is that my already sore boobs REALLY hurt. I used to be able to roll over, nurse, and sleep at the same time. However, now with the sore breasts it's all I can do to not run screaming from the room. The last two nights have been marathon nursing nights. With her sleeping on her own (unlatched) for only 30 minutes at a time.

Last night I just couldn't do it. At 4:00 am she finally rolled over on her own and unlatched only to wake up at 4:20 to nurse again! Instead I tried patting her back, rocking her, rubbing her tummy... ANYTHING to prevent another nurse. She finally went to sleep after about a half an hour of constant patting and rocking. She woke up an hour and a half later and we nursed then. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't so frequent and for so long. I seriously was ready to get up and wake her for the day if I couldn't get her to sleep without nursing. That's how much I needed a break.

I wish dh didn't work such long hours. Otherwise I would ask him to help me. It's as though my daughter only knows to sleep (or go to sleep) when she's latched on. So when, like last night, I really can't do another nursing session, I end up with a huge drawn out process to get her to go to back to sleep.

I am not wanting to wean her. I believe weaning should be child-led. However, at 15 months, I would think she would have better sleeping skills. What am I going to do when baby #2 arrives? I know we've got 8 months left until then... but frankly my daughter nurses the same now then when she did at 3 weeks! If I was seeing progress... or steps in the direction of night weaning, I wouldn't feel nearly so frantic. If someone could assure me that this breast tenderness won't last my entire pregnancy, that would help to.

Last night I even considered getting her a bottle of water or even a pacifier. Except she's never liked either of those.

How do you do it? How do you get your child ready for the next? How does night time parenting/co-sleeping transition into a family bed? I don't want to move her from my bed. (Although sometimes I think my scent it what wakes her up and reminds her to nurse.) I also know that it is logistically impossible for me to nurse a new born AND nurse a toddler at night. I don't even know HOW you could do it and still get sleep. Let alone the fact that I don't WANT to.

I am thinking about side-caring the crib she's never used and trying to get her further away from me at night. Does that really work? Help?

[crunchymum]

((((((hugs))))

oh, mama, have i ever been there! :hug dd nursed through my entire ds's pregnancy and nursed MORE than he did after he was born! :eek (she was 22 months). i had alot of breast infections and cracked nipples...*shudder*. so i really do feel your pain. :(

side carring the crib did help. when she wasn't right on top of me, she didn't wake up as often. would dh help for a period of time while you try to establish some new boundries for her and get a little relief from constant nursing? i wish i had better advice for you. it was a really hard time for me, and to be honest, i'm not sure how i made it through! but i did, somehow. i know you're looking for practical help, but i'm afraid i can't offer much... :blush i think boundries are ok when it comes to nursing, and looking back i probably didn't do as much as i could to help her with the transition....


maybe some mamas will have better advice!

:hugs

[DogwoodMama]

OK, I have a 16 month old, so I kinda know where you are, though I'm not pregnant!. :) Some thoughts... It is not OK for her to have a bad latch... I don't think you should let her nurse with a bad latch, and if she really needs to nurse I would re-latch her and have her "try again". It's part of discipline and a continuing nursing relationship- it needs to be comfortable for both of you. :) Also, if my dd is sleeping with the nipple kinda hanging in her mouth, I unlatch her, I'm not comfortable sleeping like that. Most of the time she's OK with that, though if she's teething or going through something developmentally she will wake up and re-latch and nurse- those are her nurse-a-thons, and they are hard, but we get through! :)

Is there anything going on with her developmentally that *is* causing her to nurse all night? teething, etc.? Like I said, I know my dd does do this sometimes, and I can deal with it she is latched on properly and if I see a light at the end of the tunnel, and know it will end. IF it is a temporary thing, how many times a night can you handle nursing her, if her latch improves? I would really think about that... it *is* OK to set boundaries... perhaps let her nurse to sleep and then resume nursing when the sun comes out, essentially night-weaning her. You may not be comfortable with this though. I just *hear* that it is not working for you currently! This does not mean that you need to "wean" her, but if you are becoming resentful of her night-nursing and it is wearing you down, then you need to remember that you have a nursing relationship and both of you need to be comfortable with it.

We do have the crib side-carred, and I recommend that you try that. My dd never sleeps completely in the crib, but sometimes she'll put her head in the crib, or part of her body, and it does give us a bit more room. I agree with Jenn that this helps. :)

[ArmsOfLove]

how old is you dd?

With my first two it was when I was pg and they were nursing like this that I night weaned. It was very difficult, but I wasn't getting any sleep and was becoming a horribly tired, cranky mother and feeling awful :(

A few thoughts, though . . . as Elizabeth asked, is there any real reason for her nursing like this? If she's teething you might want to give something for pain around the clock. I've found my children don't sleep well if they are cold (and it's not always based on how I feel, like they tell you, so I try different levels of clothing--Aidan even wanted to sleep in fleece sleepers during the summer if we had the overhead fan on) and they nurse tons/sleep horribly if their diaper is wet. Maybe try changing her diaper if she starts nursing for a long time.

[BHope]

Sarrah just turned 15 months. I wonder a bit if she isn't going through something like teething. Usually she nurses at night... but not these marathon sessions. I also think that some of it has to do with the fact that dh is working days and is at home at night. Consequently our Queen size bed is that much smaller. She's literally right next to me all night, where as when dh is working nights we spread out a bit. (Need to get that crib sidecar'd) Anyway, she starts out with a good latch, it's just that because she's staying hooked on so long she dozes and as soon as she feels me slipping out she starts slurping me back in. Before, it didn't hurt. But now? Yowzers!

She does sleep better when it's cooler. The last couple nights have been kind of warm. Not much we can do about that, though. We already have the window open and the fan going. (No AC in Germany. :() I will think about changing her diaper. Will need to get a night time diaper ready so that I am not fooling around in the middle of the night figuring it out. On the nights that she wakes frequently she does have a very wet diaper in the morning. Vs. the few nights she has slept really well. On the 'good' nights we'll wake up with a barely damp diaper. Don't know if the wet diaper is causing the wakings, OR if the wakings are causing her to pee.

I did notice early this morning when I went to unlatch her, that if I squeeze my breast and 'sqirt' her she'll unlatch immediately. (She's seriously not nursing at that point. Just using me as a pacifier. The mouth full of milk is NOT what she's wanting.) If I try, instead, to insert a finger to unlatch her it rouses her just enough for her to start nursing again. *sigh*

I have read that pregnancy can change the way milk tastes. Is it possible that it tastes even BETTER now? Seriously. Even during the day I have noticed an increase in her nursing. She's nursing more frequently for longer sessions. I don't know if it's because it's taking longer for her to get milk... or if she is liking what she's getting!

I really do need to get Dh to help me. I know he would. He may not be exactly happy about it... but he's a good guy. He's going to have to step up the night time parenting when the new baby comes. I just don't think I have it in me to nighttime nurse two children. Sarrah is going to have to be sleeping over by dh and away from my boobs by that point! Somehow, I'd like to slowly transition from HERE to THERE without major issues. (Major issues being long drawn out nights of crying and walking the floor.)

Ack. Anyway, I appreciate the sympathetic ear. We'll see how tonight goes. If there is no improvement then I am enlisting dh's help to get the crib arranged. The only space in our overly crowded bedroom is on his side. It means that we'll have to switch sides that we sleep on. (That'll be interesting. After five years of marriage and always sleeping on the left side.)

Maybe if I can start getting her to sleep for longer stretches in the crib, then dh and I can switch back. That way she won't have me anywhere near her to tempt her. lol.

[believer]

:hugs I am sorry that this is so rough for you right now. May the Lord be your rest and guidance.
Dana

[allisonintx]

I always call 15 months the 'age of increased intrest' where nursing is concerned. All of my children became marathon nursers at that age. It was so bizarre, but consistant. I found that getting a little space between us (like sidecar or sleeping on the other side of Daddy) really helped.

[doubleblessings]

:hugs

[DogwoodMama]

I was just browsing around LLL and found this article...

The question was this: My husband and I have a big, comfortable bed for cosleeping with our 15-month-old. The problem is, I am getting burned out with frequent night nursing. On a typical night, I nurse and rock our daughter to sleep at 8 pm. She wakes up at 10:30 or 11 pm, and I lie down with her, nurse, and we both fall asleep. Then she wakes every hour or two until dawn, when she gets up ready to start the day. Interrupted sleep is getting to me. I'm always tired. Will my child outgrow this or do I need to limit her nursing? Does extended nighttime nursing really have long-term benefits?

http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBMayJune04p106.html

Thought you might like to see some more responses! :)

[BHope]

Wow! Thanks for the link! I seriously could have written that myself. LOL.

[GodisGood]

Yeah, night weaning was the answer for us as well. We did the side car crib thing but honestly with my first he would still find his way over or wake up screaming. :hissyfit

[Allison]

((HUGS)) I nursed my oldest through my pregnancy with his brother and there were times that I couldn't stand him nursing. I would literally grit my teeth the whole time and breath through the session like it was labor!
I suggest night weaning, but since my guy was already mostly night weaned at the time I don't know how exactly do that. My 18 month old is already night weaned. He just gradually nursed less and less at night and now it's rare that he wakes.

[AmyDoll]

((BabyHopes))
I'm not pregnant and Sam is 17 mos - but we're right there with you! Sometimes I swear he *nurses like a newborn* Plus, he has this new thing of laying HORIZONTAL in our Queen-size Bed. UGH!!

My dh took the crib down out of his room and sidecarred it next to our bed (funny that a crib is just too big to fit through a door) - I have big plans and big dreams of Sam sleeping in his crib - and me falling asleep in my husband's arms. :lol We'll see what *REALLY* happens.

XOXO
Amy

[moosemama]

My dh took the crib down out of his room and sidecarred it next to our bed (funny that a crib is just too big to fit through a door) - I have big plans and big dreams of Sam sleeping in his crib - and me falling asleep in my husband's arms. :lol We'll see what *REALLY* happens.


We did this about 2 months ago and I'm so much happier with our situation now! I think dh is too, because now we can cuddle during the night. Oh and lol about the size of cribs. DH got so irritated while moving the crib I almost told him to forget it and put it back. But I'm glad I didn't, it's really working out great. I hope it works for you too!